Japanese Language Journal: March 2018
Yesterday I wrote a post effectively mocking all adults. And that post has a lot in common with what I'm about to say about learning for this month.
My new goal; feel stupid every day. I now have written on my wall: 今日は馬鹿を感じますでしょう. Which is supposed to mean "I will feel stupid today". I have no clue how accurate this translation is, and I'm putting it up here anyway.
What this all has in common is; youth don't have the luxury of choosing not to feel stupid. They face things they don't know on a daily basis. I'm sure some feel stupid. I'm sure some are just so used to it, they don't think anything of the fact that they are struggling day in and day out with things they are totally ill equipped for. But, it is through this process of facing things which make us feel stupid and force us to struggle that we learn.
If you're not struggling. If it isn't hard. You're not learning. You're memorizing at best. And doing absolutely nothing at worst.
And I've realized, this is what adults call "adulting" or "growing up" or "becoming responsible", depending on your generation I suppose. People use focusing on stabilizing elements in their environment as an excuse to stop pushing their limits. We get so wrapped up in it, we don't even notice its happened. But the hallmark is simple. Think of something you wish you knew or could do. If your thoughts are that it is too hard, or that you could never do it, or that you don't know where to start... or that you'd feel stupid... you're there. You're afraid of learning. Truly learning.
The only answers I ever remember hearing when I was a kid are "I can't afford it" and "I don't want to" or maybe "my parents won't let me". With very few exception, and even then, generally only towards to higher grades, I've never heard a student say "I wouldn't ever be able to do that". With adults it is always the opposite. The learning is important and cost, desire and permission are almost never factors.
And that revelation is what is driving my changes in my Japanese learning this month. I still do my Anki decks. But, that is more of a preservation effort. I'm intentionally not spending a ton of time, effort or focus on it. Because it wasn't challenging me any more. It doesn't mean I was getting perfect scores. But, it wasn't making me feel stupid any more. In fact, it is more humbling to try and blow through the deck now. Trying to finish in increasingly shorter times is actually having a more positive effect.
Beyond that, I've started translating songs again. Both in my app, and on paper. I'm doing the Kanji when I write them, though not necessarily learning them. The writing may be helping with retention though. And I'm also doing YouTube listening practices and following along and grading myself. Today, I got less than 70% on an N5 listening test. For me, that would be considered terrible. I feel my stupid for today :).
Also, I've managed to ascertain that listening is my weakest comprehension skill. It is probably also the weakest overall. I don't think my speaking is great either. Neither are skills I really get much practice in. But, time and again, I do find I'm able to produce a sentence which conveys my meaning well enough to convince Google Translate. Even if it takes a few tries. I have a little more freedom in composing sentences than I do in listening. Either I heard it or not. And I either I understood all of what I heard or not. There is much less wiggle room. Sometimes I can eke out enough context even if I don't get everything. But, it is definitely the least forgiving out of reading, writing, speaking and listening.
Anyway, I discovered just how bad my listening was while watching someone else do their N5 test. The test was subtitled in Japanese. I aced it. I even completed it quicker and more confidently than the guy actually taking the test who supposedly passed with flying colors. But, then I switched to a pure listening prep test for N5... and I was failing left right and center. Apparently, I can read probably at an N4 or higher level. But my listening skills are crap. I had suspected that they weren't great. I could never REALLY follow along with anime, but I could generally get the gist of a conversation. I just wasn't aware how much of my comprehension was dependent on what I was reading as well.
So, right now, my strategy is simple. Find listening tests which make me feel stupid. I need to find ones with answers though. While I can follow most of the N5 scripts, I even got some wrong which I was totally sure of. So, I need to know the right answer to go back and figure out where I went wrong. Even better if they have scripts at the end. But, the important thing is to test myself where I'm weakest and use improvement there to drive improvements across the board.
My new goal; feel stupid every day. I now have written on my wall: 今日は馬鹿を感じますでしょう. Which is supposed to mean "I will feel stupid today". I have no clue how accurate this translation is, and I'm putting it up here anyway.
What this all has in common is; youth don't have the luxury of choosing not to feel stupid. They face things they don't know on a daily basis. I'm sure some feel stupid. I'm sure some are just so used to it, they don't think anything of the fact that they are struggling day in and day out with things they are totally ill equipped for. But, it is through this process of facing things which make us feel stupid and force us to struggle that we learn.
If you're not struggling. If it isn't hard. You're not learning. You're memorizing at best. And doing absolutely nothing at worst.
And I've realized, this is what adults call "adulting" or "growing up" or "becoming responsible", depending on your generation I suppose. People use focusing on stabilizing elements in their environment as an excuse to stop pushing their limits. We get so wrapped up in it, we don't even notice its happened. But the hallmark is simple. Think of something you wish you knew or could do. If your thoughts are that it is too hard, or that you could never do it, or that you don't know where to start... or that you'd feel stupid... you're there. You're afraid of learning. Truly learning.
The only answers I ever remember hearing when I was a kid are "I can't afford it" and "I don't want to" or maybe "my parents won't let me". With very few exception, and even then, generally only towards to higher grades, I've never heard a student say "I wouldn't ever be able to do that". With adults it is always the opposite. The learning is important and cost, desire and permission are almost never factors.
And that revelation is what is driving my changes in my Japanese learning this month. I still do my Anki decks. But, that is more of a preservation effort. I'm intentionally not spending a ton of time, effort or focus on it. Because it wasn't challenging me any more. It doesn't mean I was getting perfect scores. But, it wasn't making me feel stupid any more. In fact, it is more humbling to try and blow through the deck now. Trying to finish in increasingly shorter times is actually having a more positive effect.
Beyond that, I've started translating songs again. Both in my app, and on paper. I'm doing the Kanji when I write them, though not necessarily learning them. The writing may be helping with retention though. And I'm also doing YouTube listening practices and following along and grading myself. Today, I got less than 70% on an N5 listening test. For me, that would be considered terrible. I feel my stupid for today :).
Also, I've managed to ascertain that listening is my weakest comprehension skill. It is probably also the weakest overall. I don't think my speaking is great either. Neither are skills I really get much practice in. But, time and again, I do find I'm able to produce a sentence which conveys my meaning well enough to convince Google Translate. Even if it takes a few tries. I have a little more freedom in composing sentences than I do in listening. Either I heard it or not. And I either I understood all of what I heard or not. There is much less wiggle room. Sometimes I can eke out enough context even if I don't get everything. But, it is definitely the least forgiving out of reading, writing, speaking and listening.
Anyway, I discovered just how bad my listening was while watching someone else do their N5 test. The test was subtitled in Japanese. I aced it. I even completed it quicker and more confidently than the guy actually taking the test who supposedly passed with flying colors. But, then I switched to a pure listening prep test for N5... and I was failing left right and center. Apparently, I can read probably at an N4 or higher level. But my listening skills are crap. I had suspected that they weren't great. I could never REALLY follow along with anime, but I could generally get the gist of a conversation. I just wasn't aware how much of my comprehension was dependent on what I was reading as well.
So, right now, my strategy is simple. Find listening tests which make me feel stupid. I need to find ones with answers though. While I can follow most of the N5 scripts, I even got some wrong which I was totally sure of. So, I need to know the right answer to go back and figure out where I went wrong. Even better if they have scripts at the end. But, the important thing is to test myself where I'm weakest and use improvement there to drive improvements across the board.
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