Adults are lazy, whiny hyprocrites
I talk a lot about learning languages of late. But, what I owe it more than anything else is this; the realization that becoming an adult has turned me into a lazy waste of a human being. And, I recently discovered another notion, that doesn't apply (as much) to me about adults being increasingly depressed and what the reason might be.
When we finish our last day of school, we breathe a sigh of relief and begin the quest for a job. For a while we're faced with new challenges. Writing a new and improve resume, looking for jobs, interviewing and then ultimately acclimating to the new job. I don't think we notice the transition because we don't just immediately slump into laziness. Those steps all require effort and in many cases some degree of learning and challenge. But then, depending on the job and the person, perhaps 1 - 6 months into your career job... things are basically effortless.
That isn't to say that some days aren't harder than others. Just that, at some point you know what is expected of you and how to get it done. You know which tools are at your disposal. You can identify which tasks require which tools. And you know how to use them. Your days are all about spending the appropriate amount of effort to reach the expected target. You're no longer learning.
And you know how I know this happens to virtually everyone? Tell an adult in a different field than you what you do for a living and they'll respond "oh I could never do that". Or suggest they start learning that skill they wanted to know for years and they'll say "I don't know where to start" or "that is too hard". Say the same things to a teenager or a person just out of school. The worst you'll get is "I don't want to". But, if you don't run into that, you'll likely get a much more positive response.
Why? They are still either in the process of learning or fresh from it. They aren't afraid of being wrong. They know that is part of the process of learning. They acknowledge that you will more than likely start out totally incapable of producing results. And that this is NORMAL. Adults who have been in the same job for a year or more are accustomed to knowing most, if not everything, required to get a task done. The notion of struggling with something is foreign. Their brains effectively atrophy at the notion of wandering back into that realm.
Babies, toddlers, kids, teenagers and the youngest adults? This is their daily life. Every day is an experience challenging their existence in some way. Pushing them into the unknown to learn something new.
By comparison, most of my adult life... is a total waste. Sure, my work has value. But, does it have more value to me than learning? Than growing?
The next bit is somewhat related (I think). While I have certainly met depressed youths... I've met way more depressed adults. And way more adults in denial about it. And I think I stumbled upon the problem. Around the same time we start mastering our careers, we start spending more time focused on the past. While the younger generation is (generally) more focused on the future. I mean, when you're young you look forward to getting older to stay up later, or watch increasingly more restricted movies or games, and you look forward to driving and you look forward to being done with school. When you're in what you think of as your career you've got 2 basic land marks left, retirement and death. And those both seem so far away.
When you live for the future though, today and yesterday are just stepping stones to get you to where you want to be. You don't dwell on them as much and you don't bring as much emotional baggage forward.
As you settle into that career, you start to dwell on the past rather than the future. Today is much more impacted by yesterday and the day before and so on. When you focus on the strain, the pains and the problems you reach a breaking point. You need a vacation.
I don't know what is wrong with me. But in 15 years of working I've never said "I need a vacation". And my wife ran her own business for years and it was virtually impossible to plan one. So, I basically took a few weeks off around Christmas most years and still worked as needed. So, it isn't like I was simply vacationing so much that I happened to hit the reset button often enough. And people look at me kind of strange when I say this. For me, it is normal to just... show up to work every day.
Now that my wife doesn't own a business... I'm trying to learn how to take a vacation. I'm used to having a HUGE back log of vacation days available. I still feel no need to take them to avoid work. So I'm needing to learn to take them to spend more time with my family. Or do something I wouldn't otherwise be able to do. Most of my friend use their vacations for those reasons as well. But, the sentiment is always the same. "I need a vacation".
This should only be possible though, if you're carrying forward some dead weight from days past or if your job is just so draining that it only takes one day to feel that way. Because, if you woke up and treated every day as just that. Another new day. Then, today would be no harder to endure than yesterday, or a day a week ago or the day immediately after your last vacation.
And to come full circle... I think the solution is simple. Start learning again. Only instead of doing it in a school where you're forced to learn certain subjects and given strict timelines, choose something you want to learn and learn it in your own way. This is what an adult should do. I still work every single day. But, I'm not rooted in the past. I'm looking forward to when I finally get good at Japanese. And I'm looking forward to getting started on a 3rd language. And so many things off in the horizon. Every day I make progress towards those goals.
An interesting side effect. While I was never particularly afraid of losing my job. The hobbies I've picked up over the years reinforce that feeling. Now, when the notion of being fired (or even simply quitting) comes to mind I don't have a sense of dread over whether or not I'll be able to find a new job. I feel capable or mastering whatever skills in my field are needed to get a new job in that field. But, more than that, I think about the potential for jobs TOTALLY outside my field. Like brewing craft beer. Or opening a restaurant. Or becoming a translator.
I'm not even sure I want to retire. I mean, I know at some point I will. It is really weird to think though, that I might just hit a point where instead of retiring I simply start working for myself. At whatever I want to do. For me, the future is still where my life is headed. The past is just a foundation. I can't go back. I can't change anything. And I don't care to. I want to use what was in my past to help me make my future. The way I once did when I was a kid.
When we finish our last day of school, we breathe a sigh of relief and begin the quest for a job. For a while we're faced with new challenges. Writing a new and improve resume, looking for jobs, interviewing and then ultimately acclimating to the new job. I don't think we notice the transition because we don't just immediately slump into laziness. Those steps all require effort and in many cases some degree of learning and challenge. But then, depending on the job and the person, perhaps 1 - 6 months into your career job... things are basically effortless.
That isn't to say that some days aren't harder than others. Just that, at some point you know what is expected of you and how to get it done. You know which tools are at your disposal. You can identify which tasks require which tools. And you know how to use them. Your days are all about spending the appropriate amount of effort to reach the expected target. You're no longer learning.
And you know how I know this happens to virtually everyone? Tell an adult in a different field than you what you do for a living and they'll respond "oh I could never do that". Or suggest they start learning that skill they wanted to know for years and they'll say "I don't know where to start" or "that is too hard". Say the same things to a teenager or a person just out of school. The worst you'll get is "I don't want to". But, if you don't run into that, you'll likely get a much more positive response.
Why? They are still either in the process of learning or fresh from it. They aren't afraid of being wrong. They know that is part of the process of learning. They acknowledge that you will more than likely start out totally incapable of producing results. And that this is NORMAL. Adults who have been in the same job for a year or more are accustomed to knowing most, if not everything, required to get a task done. The notion of struggling with something is foreign. Their brains effectively atrophy at the notion of wandering back into that realm.
Babies, toddlers, kids, teenagers and the youngest adults? This is their daily life. Every day is an experience challenging their existence in some way. Pushing them into the unknown to learn something new.
By comparison, most of my adult life... is a total waste. Sure, my work has value. But, does it have more value to me than learning? Than growing?
The next bit is somewhat related (I think). While I have certainly met depressed youths... I've met way more depressed adults. And way more adults in denial about it. And I think I stumbled upon the problem. Around the same time we start mastering our careers, we start spending more time focused on the past. While the younger generation is (generally) more focused on the future. I mean, when you're young you look forward to getting older to stay up later, or watch increasingly more restricted movies or games, and you look forward to driving and you look forward to being done with school. When you're in what you think of as your career you've got 2 basic land marks left, retirement and death. And those both seem so far away.
When you live for the future though, today and yesterday are just stepping stones to get you to where you want to be. You don't dwell on them as much and you don't bring as much emotional baggage forward.
As you settle into that career, you start to dwell on the past rather than the future. Today is much more impacted by yesterday and the day before and so on. When you focus on the strain, the pains and the problems you reach a breaking point. You need a vacation.
I don't know what is wrong with me. But in 15 years of working I've never said "I need a vacation". And my wife ran her own business for years and it was virtually impossible to plan one. So, I basically took a few weeks off around Christmas most years and still worked as needed. So, it isn't like I was simply vacationing so much that I happened to hit the reset button often enough. And people look at me kind of strange when I say this. For me, it is normal to just... show up to work every day.
Now that my wife doesn't own a business... I'm trying to learn how to take a vacation. I'm used to having a HUGE back log of vacation days available. I still feel no need to take them to avoid work. So I'm needing to learn to take them to spend more time with my family. Or do something I wouldn't otherwise be able to do. Most of my friend use their vacations for those reasons as well. But, the sentiment is always the same. "I need a vacation".
This should only be possible though, if you're carrying forward some dead weight from days past or if your job is just so draining that it only takes one day to feel that way. Because, if you woke up and treated every day as just that. Another new day. Then, today would be no harder to endure than yesterday, or a day a week ago or the day immediately after your last vacation.
And to come full circle... I think the solution is simple. Start learning again. Only instead of doing it in a school where you're forced to learn certain subjects and given strict timelines, choose something you want to learn and learn it in your own way. This is what an adult should do. I still work every single day. But, I'm not rooted in the past. I'm looking forward to when I finally get good at Japanese. And I'm looking forward to getting started on a 3rd language. And so many things off in the horizon. Every day I make progress towards those goals.
An interesting side effect. While I was never particularly afraid of losing my job. The hobbies I've picked up over the years reinforce that feeling. Now, when the notion of being fired (or even simply quitting) comes to mind I don't have a sense of dread over whether or not I'll be able to find a new job. I feel capable or mastering whatever skills in my field are needed to get a new job in that field. But, more than that, I think about the potential for jobs TOTALLY outside my field. Like brewing craft beer. Or opening a restaurant. Or becoming a translator.
I'm not even sure I want to retire. I mean, I know at some point I will. It is really weird to think though, that I might just hit a point where instead of retiring I simply start working for myself. At whatever I want to do. For me, the future is still where my life is headed. The past is just a foundation. I can't go back. I can't change anything. And I don't care to. I want to use what was in my past to help me make my future. The way I once did when I was a kid.
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